This has been a fun journey. Learning myself, loving myself, and choosing joy in the midst of finding wholeness and healing. Being aware of how I am feeling throughout my day to day and season to season has helped me be able to notice when things are off in my life; if my thoughts get out of control, if something was said or done that hurt my spirit or when something would affect my soul. When I am able to know all of that about myself, finding the issue and root cause of my problems is much simpler and allows me to change the situation.
Your spirit is affected by the atmosphere around you, so choosing the places you go and the people in your life is something you want to be aware of. Your soul is what’s affected when deep hurt happens, and when deep joy is created; between friends, family, relationships, and yourself. Broken trust and other deep hurts that cause you to feel misled or wounded will cut into your soul and begin to turn it bitter, whereas precious moments, pure love, and deep trust will fill your soul with greater capacity for love. Your body is affected by whether your spirit and soul have been violated, or whether they are being taken care of and loved. When you really start to learn your body’s responses, you will start to notice whether something has been put off in your soul or spirit, creating a response in your body that isn’t meant to be there.
Based on what I have done, I have some suggestions you could try:
Read. Read many many books. I sought out people who I have seen living wholehearted lives and I asked them what they did that inspired them to live in wholeness. They gave me 1 or 2 names of books or people that have inspired them, which I either got or researched. A lot of these books have challenges throughout them that I get to choose to do as I read them. I don’t like to just read through the book, I like to stop when I find something interesting and underline or circle it, then write down my thoughts next to the section. I also don’t borrow books because of this, I like to buy my own copy and that way I have it to look back on if I need to.
Pay attention to your actions. Be very aware of yourself in everything that you do. Notice how you respond in different situations, (you can even write it down if you process better through journaling) and look for patterns of how you respond. The better you know how you personally respond, the deeper you will get into knowing why you respond as you do so you can work on the root issue instead of just dealing with the symptoms.
Don’t be thoughtless with your words. Really try to understand what you are saying and the affect that it has, while also listening closely to what other people are saying. Words are power; so are thoughts. Be aware of what you allow in your mind and what you are making unknown agreements with. You want to have a powerful thought-life. People that are thoughtless with their words are going to be thoughtless with your heart.
Talk to yourself regularly. If you feel off, ask yourself why, what happened, or what you need. The more you talk to yourself, the more you will understand your being and narrow down if there is a problem in your spirit, soul, or body. Start to ask yourself really good, hard questions and learn the motivations behind your actions. You will begin to trust yourself much much more. Sometimes choosing the hard choice when it feels like the right choice is the best choice. Trust the ‘gut’ feeling you get, because that’s probably your spirit trying to tell you something.
Whatever you believe in, there are parts of you that you don’t understand and that affect different aspects of your being. Try this out, and see how it works for you. If anything, I hope to encourage you to go beyond what you know and find new aspects of yourself that may in fact change how you do life in the future.
The reason for this journey is freedom. Free from haunting thoughts and fear. Free from other peoples hold on your life. Free from judgement, control, and disillusionment. Free in ways you that you can’t believe is reality, but it is. There’s a better way to live. There’s a greater perspective to find, a deeper connection to have, and more authority to have over your life and the lives of the people you influence.
Love always and forever, Makarios
Not everything works out for me. That’s just not real life. I do have crazy awesome things happen in my life, but I also learn every single day how to live better with what I have. I read books with topics on self awareness, personality, connection, living in the present, and loving on purpose. I also have people in my life that are constantly keeping up with my feelings and telling me how I could be better. It’s more so how I choose to live than how my life is. Even with all the good; I have really bad days, I go through depression all too often, I get hurt, I get let down, I get pushed away, and along with experiencing close deaths and close rejection, I have needs and unfulfilled desires. Why wouldn’t I be honest about that? I have nothing to hide but my most personal encounters, and those are not hidden because of regret, but stored in my mind and journals as encounters of love and loss that are too precious to be shared until the moment calls for it.
My pains are no less than anybody else’s, because they’re mine and they’re what I’m connected with. You wouldn’t understand my pain, and I wouldn’t understand yours, but we both understand the word all too well. Pain is pain, just as hurt is hurt, just as rejection is rejection, and we can all learn from how each other processes it all, even though the situations are different. (A reason I don’t post about the specific situation I’m going through, but my feelings, thoughts, and beliefs on how to deal with the pain or hurt of it.)
I choose the life I want to see myself live. That’s where I keep my focus, that’s where my perspective stems from and that’s what I hold on to in dire moments when I am falling apart. I oftentimes talk to my reflection in the mirror just to convince myself back into a better reality or I’ll even stare into my eyes until I come to a realization that I’m better than how I’m feeling in that moment. Honestly, these things are so real for me. Sometimes dealing with falling apart looks like allowing what some might see as insanity for a moment to shed light on your inmost thoughts that you can’t reach normally. In these times I think back through my past and find what held me together, then relive it until I believe it. If I can notice the patterns in my life, I can more easily convince myself that I’m okay now. The things I tell myself today with words and thoughts is what’s going to set up how I will be thinking in the days to come.
I want to learn about anything and everything, so when people come and tell me about an opinion or passion that they have, I soak it up. If I notice they have something in their life and personality that I want; I ask, listen, and become a sponge for their words. But as I continue to figure out what my beliefs are and how powerful of a person I am, I realize that I often don’t question what these people say to me. In a conversation recently with one of the people I highly look up to about their beliefs, I found myself so naturally questioning him and returning my opinion on the subject. Only then did I realize that I had reached a level with him that I thought would take me years of knowledge. He is a person who’s beliefs are brilliant, but I found out in that moment that mine are just as powerful and valid. We can both learn from how the other thinks and their outcomes.
It’s not that everything works out for me… It doesn’t. Honestly, many days I think I have the worst luck, but that’s because all I know is what I experience, and I choose to keep learning from every experience I find myself in. Even though that doesn’t stop the tears when I want something and things go wrong, it does help me to make more sense of real life and understand that things don’t happen how we expect and we just gotta roll with it. Something else is sure to happen that will change our history. We can’t keep sitting in our disappointment because what we have in front of us is the destiny we are waiting for.
Our destiny is what we are living in right now. We are making and changing history with every decision, every hurt, every moment, and every outcome.
Everyone’s deciding now, more than any other time of the year, to be a better version of themselves. Setting new goals, creating new dreams, having new visions for their lives. And we all plan to really do them. That’s the beauty of a new year. It feels like a new beginning with new found belief in ourselves. However, as the first few weeks turn into the first few months, we tend to lose sight of that. A big reason that in the end we don’t always complete our goals is because we stop believing in ourselves. Over and over again we hear the reoccurring excuses of a busy schedule, financial difficulties, a lack of motivation, etc. The level of discouragement that creates in us escalates from there. But what really happens? We stop believing we can do it, or that we are actually worth it. In fact, we might even start believing that it wasn’t really a new start at all, but just a continuation of the year before. It becomes not as important. And as the things we do with our lives start becoming less important, we start viewing ourselves as less important too.
I think a lot of times at the beginning of the year we feel a sense that the things that happened in the last year are kept in the last year. All the disappointments, the grief, the pain; that can all be left behind, and now we get to choose how our next year looks. In some ways that’s true, but as we look back on the years and say, “that happened in that year (and so on)”, we have to realize it’s still a continuation of our previous days, even if the date of the year changes. I’m not trying to be discouraging, but I want to point out that how you want to live your life can START now, just don’t stop that based on what time of year it is. Live out who you want to be all the time. The great thing about the new year is that it’s a reoccurring mark on the timeline of our lives; a way to keep track of our goals so we can continue pushing for success, and something that starts us creating good habits that we will continue long after the year is gone.
It’s also important to understand that a new year does not mean that you can forget about the pain that you were dealing with in the previous season of your life. It’s not a time to leave your feelings about a situation un-dealt with, but instead it might be just a good time for a break and a re-evaluation of how you are really feeling about the situation. You still need to go through that process; however, it may just be at a different time. There are seasons of your life needed for rest. For many people, the holidays are not a good time. Whether it be loss, heartache, or loneliness; some feelings and emotions may come up in you that you are simply not used to feeling and didn’t realize you still had within you. This can bring a lot of stress, a lot of hurt, and can become a huge burden that sits within you if it isn’t properly handled. The new year sounds like a perfect time to just leave all that behind you doesn’t it?
What if we actually dealt with our emotions, found the root causes, and became free in those areas? Think of how much better we would feel everyday, and how much more we would understand ourselves, love ourselves, and treat ourselves. Don’t you want that?
Something that will help us to pursue our goals all year long is to 1) make goals that are attainable, but still high enough to keep us pushing towards notable success, and 2) have more frequent check-mark dates that keep us accomplishing smaller goals on the path in reaching our overall goal. Continue to look at the vision you have for the end of this year and update your process as you go along. Your new life starts now!
So I realize that a lot of you don’t know what I do with my life. In fact, I don’t even know what I do with my life. I just say yes. When opportunities to travel come up, I say yes. When I feel a prompting to do something, I say yes. When a situation is uncomfortable, I still say yes. Though I may have some crazy stories about some of the things I’ve said yes to, I do not regret a moment of it. What I do changes my life and changes the lives of the people I come in contact with.
Just last week I was part of an experience that impacted who I am. I have spent the last month in Santa Barbara, California at an Artist Boot Camp. Let me tell you, it really was a boot camp. There were 3 different focuses at this school (acting, music, & film production) and I was in the acting portion of it. I spent over 5 hours a day in acting class and several more hours doing homework for it. When I wasn’t doing that, I was in sessions with incredible speakers who are changing the world through the arts. It was such a change from “normal life,” being stuck on a mountain with barely any cell service, internet, down time, or sleep, but it was absolutely necessary for who I want to become and what I am working towards.
In my last class with my acting group, we all did a connection exercise that will stick with us forever. It started by pressing hands together in a circle (20 or so of us, with the rest of the camp sitting around the edge of our little class room watching us), and making eye contact with each person in our group. From there we were to move as a group and create a company of actors who breathe and work as one. We did this. In a way that left every person in that room with tears running down their faces. I can’t explain it or do it justice. Without knowing what we were doing, we worked as one, connected with each other, and our final move as a group was holding hands, taking a bow, and clapping for each other. The moment we did this, the music stopped, not a dry eye was in the place, and we ran together for a final group hug, knowing that what just happened was an experience that would forever change us. All because each one of us looked at each other and said yes to the moment.
Even though I haven’t slept in a month, and today is my first day home, saying yes to what I knew was right was the best decision I could have ever made. The people I have done life with this summer from all over the country, the friends I’ve made, the places I’ve been, and what I’ve learned about myself, has impacted my life in ways that will never stop increasing.
I am blessed, blessed, blessed. And I am so incredibly thankful for each person that has been a part a it, and helped me through it. I will never be the same.
I believe in saying no, and I am in the process of writing a post on that too, but right now it’s about saying yes to you, yes to your heart, and yes to others. Go for it, be you, be inspired. There is always a way. Know that, believe that, live that.
If you know you, trust your yes.
Love always, Makari Asriel
My acting track 9’14’15
Hello from Patara, Turkey! I’m here on vacation, enjoying the beach, learning about different cultures, trying new foods, and resting in peace. My only dilemmas for today were the choices of food to eat at breakfast, and later if we should 1) swim in the Mediterranean, 2) walk through the ruins to see an ancient lighthouse, or 3) sit in the sunroom and drink a beer. Let me just say I’m having an amazing time. I’m allowing my brain to turn off and my thoughts to run free. Taking a break from life is sometimes the perfect remedy for life’s insanity. We can try so hard to take care of the soul and spirit that we forget that our body is just as important.
The city I’m staying in currently (Patara) is actually the birthplace of St Nicholas. Being able to stand where he stood and explore the ruins where he would have walked makes my imagination come to life. It’s amazing to think that the icon we know today around the world as Santa Claus was actually a real person whose good deeds eventually brought him fame. I encourage you to learn more about him if you can. An orphan child who used his wealth to help and serve people became a bishop very young and was part of the council that established the Trinity. He was imprisoned and tortured for his faith but never lost sight of his calling. St Nicholas was an incredible man who left an incredible legacy.