Moving to LA has been very different than I am used to, yet so satisfying at the same time. A whirlwind of emotions. I’m quite happy here, but I also have feelings throughout everyday that I don’t understand yet. What I do know for certain is that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. Who knows how long or for what purpose, but the peace that I have is unmistakable.
I came not knowing, and with no plan of what to do next, but I also came with the expectancy that something great is about to change my life. Without that, I’m a 22yr old living in a big city for no reason at all. I’ve prepared my whole life for this moment and still I feel unprepared. How does someone expect to know anything without the experience of living it? They can imagine, and hope, and dream forever about what that decision will be like, but without living it, there is no way to tell. Each person is different, and says “yes” and “no” to different things to get where they are. I said “yes” to LA when I was a kid, and now so many years later I am here. My 15yr old self would be looking at me and telling me that I was living the dream.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget where our hearts and minds used to be because we live in today, and yesterday is not our worries anymore. But yesterday is what made our today what it is. Memories are what make our lives what they are. Without our emotions of yesterday, we lose the idea of the privilege that is today.
Living is LA wouldn’t mean to me what it does if I hadn’t expected this moment for so long. Expectancy is sometimes the only thing that will keep us looking forward to what our lives could be. It’s the hope for what we believe in our hearts to happen.
I have to remind myself, in the moments that I just want to curl up with my best friends and watch a movie like we normally would, that I am where I need to be, and that today is my future’s yesterday. Today’s memories are what will make me who I am in years to come. Wishing to be back in my comfort zone is only going to make me wish again that I were here.
Life is what you make it, and other times it happens to you. Either way life will keep happening. Don’t get stuck in today, but recognize that today is the history for your life tomorrow.